You can change the direction this train is moving just by thinking about it.
(Source: buzzfeed, via jizzy-hurricane)
does anybody else have that friend that you’re pretty sure is your soulmate but in a friend way
(Source: rigginsrigs, via b3hind-the-scars)
im just sad and lonely and bad at math
SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP PUTTING ICE CUBES IN YOUR LEMONADE. YOU WANT FIX YOUR WATERY LEMONADE? ADMITTING THERE’S A PROBLEM IS THE FIRST STEP TO STOP BEING A PUSSY, AND MOVING ON TO BEING A MAJESTIC MOTHERFUCKER.
GET SOME FRUIT.
BLUEBERRIES, STRAWBERRIES, PEACHES, LEMONS, LIMES, FUCK I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE PAPAYA OR MANGO! GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE AND PUNCH SOME BUSHES UNTIL IT CRIES FOR MERCY AND HANDS YOU YOUR GODDAMN FRUIT.
BERRIES YOU CAN JUST SHOVE INTO THE ICEBOX AND GO CONQUER A COUNTRY WHILE YOU WAIT A DAY FOR IT TO FREEZE.
PEACHES AND NECTARINES, FUCK, YOU CAN EAT THE DAMN SKIN ON THOSE! TAKE OUT THAT MACHETE YOU KEEP IN YOUR BACK POCKET, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHEN A DINOSAUR COULD COME KNOCKING AND MOTHERFUCKERS NEED TO BE PREPARED, THEN HACK THAT DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKER INTO SLICES.
NOW PUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL FUCKERS IN YOUR FREEZER.
YOU’RE A CITRUS KINDA ASSHOLE?
TAKE THE SKIN OFF YOUR CITRUS AND RECYCLE THAT SHIT! SAVE THE WHALES, YOU HARCORE MOTHERFUCKER.
I BET YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING, WITH THE FREEZER.
WHEN YOUR FRUIT IS FROZEN, USE THEM INSTEAD OF ICE CUBES TO KEEP YOUR DRINK AS COLD AS A SNOWMAN’S FROSTY DICK, AND MAKE ALL YOUR FRIENDS OR MAYBE ONLY YOUR PETS SAY ‘WOW WHAT A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER’
IF YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC TYPE OF SHITHEAD, YOU CAN PUT YOUR FROZEN-ASS FRUIT INTO RUM OR VODKA OR SOME SHIT.
NOT ONLY ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A COLD, FLAVORED DRINK, BUT YOU’LL GET YOUR DAILY SERVINGS OF FRUIT. YOU SNEAKY LITTLE HEALTH-CONSCIOUS ASSHOLE.
TASTES LIKE GODDAMN VICTORY, THAT’S WHAT.
Calm down, Karkat
I’d just like to point out that 50 Shades of Grey was Twilight fanfic and Twilight was inspired by Muse so when you think about it, it’s kinda because of Muse that 50 Shades was written in the first place oh
And Muse came from England which traces its roots back to the Anglo-Saxons and Romans, so really, in the end, Julius Caesar wrote 50 Shades of Grey.
someone should totally just stab caesar
if you’re a girl!!! download the app pink pad!!!!! it’s fabulous
or if you’re a guy that likes pink… i’m not going to rant all about gender roles, but this discourages me
the pink pad app monitors your ovulation cycles so i mean if you’re a guy and you have cycles to monitor by all means go ahead i guess
ipaintyouwings:Message from David Karp
everyone needs to read this.
Pierce The Veil wireless packs
We have Tony and Vic then Hi-me then mothafuckin swagg daddy
(Source: televisionchildren, via jizzy-hurricane)
(Source: internetpoetry, via jizzy-hurricane)
have i ever mentioned that my mom banned me from watching the outtakes from straight to dvd until i’m of age because my stepdad happened to be walking by and of course it was right during the montage of jack running around naked and i’m really upset about it
im embarrassing and boring and im sorry