May 2013
ernbarassing:
my favorite part of shopping is the tears and frustration
tushi:
why is the news breaking. who broke it. how much are repairs
foxnewsofficial:
scuba-steve-damn-you:
foxnewsofficial:
SEND EVERYONE YOU KNOW A MORNING TEXT. WEAR A BOWTIE TODAY. HIGH FIVE STRANGERS. GIVE AWAY LOLLIPOPS. COMPLIMENT PEOPLE. STEAL A CHILD.
i’ve already done one of those and now he won’t stop crying and it’s annoying
must have been an aggressive high five
howsyourcoffeechadkroeger:
spencersmithscrotchpuppy:
howsyourcoffeechadkroeger:
*puts on beanie* *adjust bangs* *puts on black skinny jeans* *pulls out black eyeliner*
“Its time”
are you talking about yourself or pete wentz
good question
zosowiththemosto:
milkpunk:
yapped:
jankyass:
if you catch me on the street listening to my ipod and i do a swift head turn i’m probably in the middle of filming my imaginary music video. do not disturb.
I have found my people.
who else like closes their eyes during a buildup and then pops them open when the chorus or w/e starts as if like the video’s starting or there’s a swift...
petewentzturnedmikeywayscene:
if you are actually shitty enough to make fun of someone’s social anxiety, or any mental illness in general, or tell them they’re lying and that they are perfectly fine while they sit there shaking and trying not to cry because they don’t know how to handle a situation, I most likely hate you and you should just get the fuck out.
babyferaligator:
Studies show that if theres gonna be free food I will show up 100% of the time
nutella-boy:
nutella-boy:
they should change the anonymous icon to this
18 thousand people agree with me,what are you waiting karp
orangewave:
sagethenate:
orangewave:
i mean really, who doesn’t want to be a mermaid
the little mermaid
fucking christ
i’m writing my mom an essay on why she should let my sister and i go to riot fest let’s hope this works
the-lonely-scottish-guy:
‘stop being overdramatic’ they say
‘i dont know what you mean’ i say as i descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist
lilacid:
niggaqueef:
when you sat in a weird position for a long time and you move and then your foot feels like this
most accurate description of anything accurate ever in the history of accuracy
skankplissken:
my family almost started a fucking riot because we were playing a trivia game and the answer to ‘what’s scooby doo’s favorite food’ wasn’t ‘scooby snacks’ but ‘pizza’
jaaaaaaaaaackfrost:
how the fuck are all these people able to just run into celebrities in restaurants and gas stations and shit i’m lucky if i find two matching socks in a load of laundry on the first try
bird-on-a-leash:
paperwhale:
claydols:
your bra strap is showing please hide it because it is suggestive. also your boobs are producing lumps in your shirt please hide them. your butt is in the same situation please get rid of it. also your legs. your arms. your face.
I can see your feet and it’s very distracting and slightly arousing.
dan-will-make-you-howell:
do you ever stop and realise that there are people out there who have full time jobs working at club penguin
me at the end of the semester
rneerkat:
musicalgravy19:
rneerkat:
i thought i saw a fruit flavored breath freshener but it must have been a fig mint of my imagination
I see what you did there! XD
have u considered work as a detective because i really believe u would do well with that career ur observational skills are amazing
chefboyardeezie:
banjo-jeff:
chefboyardeezie:
when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head
you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows
im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head
slenclerman:
reasons to date me: -i can pick stuff up with my feet sometimes -ive never killed a man (yet) -i once got 95% on guitar hero -you can play with my hair -im cheaper than a puppy
mintsmintsmints:
captorihardlyknowher:
count-vulvula:
thedivingboard:
russia coming 15 minutes late to the 1917 revolution holding a tsarbucks
15 minutes late they clearly weren’t
russian
looks like they were
stalin
you guys are putin way too much time into this
tommarvolohiddles:
mandatoryupgrades:
Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written:
I want that to be the final line of my biography.
let’s not forget about this gem from macbeth
grandkanye:
u r addicted to crack but dont have any right now. i guess u could say u r crackalackin
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
grenadehumper:
i love how we all say that we’re punk rock but if someone actually like punched our face in like in a mosh pit we’d probably cry
John Green's tumblr: code-red-arthur:... →
code-red-arthur:
festusthehappydragon:
darkstoriesofthenorth:
for-one-shining-moment:
subliminal-mind-duck:
John Green’s car breaks down
The Fault in Our Cars
John Green gets locked in a pub
The Fault in Our Bars
John Green writes a strongly…
taissafarmigas:
i get really uncomfortable when people say they haven’t even seen harry potter
